I completely lack self-discipline. Honestly, I can't keep up with something for more than a few weeks...a few months if I'm really determined. My determination to keep up a routine or regimen or anything that requires some amount of discipline is always short-lived and I don't understand why. Take this blog, for example. My posts are very irregular and I do wish to post more often than I do. In fact, oftentimes I have stuff to share but just, for some reason, never get to it. This post too! I've been meaning to type this since yesterday and I'm finally doing it because the thought came back to me again and again, "you didn't do it last time so at least make this post." Or something like that.
There are many, more major, things that require self-discipline in my life. From maintaining an exercise routine to stay fit to maintaining the organisation of certain things to studying. All of those things are equally important in my life but, at the moment, I would say that my lack of studying is my most daunting problem, especially in my fourth year of medical school. Sometimes I wonder how I even made it this far. I feel unknowledgeable and that needs to change, desperately.
One would think, start small and work your way up. But if I can't even take my daily supplements as I should twice a day and not once or even make regular blog posts as I want to, then how do I tackle the bigger fishies? For some reason, if I think I want to do something, I can never find the motivation or determination to actually get up and do it. Instead I let myself get caught up in a world where time just passes me and by the end of the unproductive day, I can't say that I know what I've done. It's ridiculous really.
Regardless, I'll continue working on improving myself. I hope you do too!
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2 comments:
I completely understand what you're feeling.
It's not simply the lack of motivation, it's the knowledge that you have that flaw and yet you can't seem to get a hold of it.
I do find though that routine helps alot. But, you have to watch out for break ups in the routine. That can throw off everything.
The only thing I seem currently able to maintain consistently unless I am busy, is my blog. I don't know why. I just hope I can use it as a stepping stone to find the drive in other parts of my life.
In any case keep up the good fight! And good luck in school!
Yes, I managed to keep a routine perfectly through an entire semester once...I studied diligently and exercised and everything! But once it was over and it was vacation. All that went *poof*! And I never was able to get myself back into that groove. That semester has the best grades of all my semesters too! One would think that it's motivation...and it is...yet, here I am, 3 years later, still unable to get back into it.
I'm gonna keep trying at it though! I'm sure one day, I'll get my groove back =) Thanks so much for your encouragement!
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